u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
