Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize