oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
