Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
