You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
