Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Small penises have feelings too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
