Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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