C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
