We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
