She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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