first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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