Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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