Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
