I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize