ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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