She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize