I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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