I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
