i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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