So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Operation Purity has been aborted
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
