Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
