Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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