there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize