The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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