I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
