Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
