Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
