So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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