She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize