do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
