It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize