On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
