Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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