real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ketchup is God's man juice
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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