he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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