Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize