I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
