i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
