So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
