So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
