So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
