you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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