it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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