some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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