The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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