Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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