Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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