I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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