i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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