Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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