my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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