That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
