would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
