Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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