When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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