This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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