At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Less talking, more tequila
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
