Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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