i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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