you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
