so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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