sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Mom said you looked used
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
