drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
