Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
