You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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