How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
