Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
