I'm jealous of your bromance
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a search helicopter?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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