I heard we made out
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
