fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
