then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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