i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
