i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
