i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
