My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
