I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
