worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
